What is a Marriage Mentor?
"What I need is someone to talk to who has walked down the path that I'm just beginning," said Lisa a few weeks into her marriage. "Whenever I go to my mom or dad with a situation, they end up being a parent or teaching me something I don't need to learn."
While a mother and a father can certainly serve a helpful function in the life of a new bride or groom, they usually cannot offer the distance and objectivity a mentor gives. For this reason, it is important first to realize what a mentor is not :
- A mentor is not a mother or father.
- A mentor is not a friend.
- A mentor is not "on call" for every little crisis.
- A mentor is not a know it all.
- A mentor is not committed long term.
In addition, the relationship between a mentor couple and newlyweds has a natural cycle of its own, which is not always predictable. Each mentoring relationship takes on its own style and personality. The amount of time couples spend together and the content they discuss
can rarely be prescribed. However, we recommend a minimum of
three meetings through out the newlyweds first year together: at three months, seven months, and one year after the wedding. These times provide the basic structure upon which additional meetings, meals
and phone calls can rest.
